Month: November 2015

Posted in Demons, Devils, & Flying Ghost Monkeys

I have enough friends is what my demons told me…

Posted on by Stacey
So I have huge trust issues. It would seem that my demons play well with other peoples demons sometimes, and that friendsgets messy and complicated.  Who has the time to invite new people in our life… the vetting process is exhausting. I can’t afford the distraction, as I am just trying to keep myself and family above water.  So I close myself off even more as my demons say…. good call you don’t want to chance it, that will most likely result in  disappointment and heart break again. 
I believed them, they caught me at a vulnerable moment when I was hurting and feeling betrayed by people I trusted the most. I reacted in a panic to cut out almost everyone one from my life and my circle became smaller and smaller.   It was easier to run away from even the slightest suggestion of the potential of pain, disappointment and rejection.
My demons filled my head with every word I just typed. My freaking flying ghost monkeys haunted my head with each and everyone of those thoughts. They covered all bases to isolate me as they added…. they are all better off without you, because you will just cause this,this, and this so now, I am also doing everyone a favor.  So I react in fear and push people away to run and hide. When I got lonely and missed those now missing from my life, my demons graciously reminded me of old hurts, wounds and pain that you can almost feel all over again just by thinking about them… so you don’t and find yourself in protect and survive mode. My own thoughts would introduce fear and beat me down until I was in agreement….yeah that is a terrible idea….and you would just screw it up, so better not to even try…lonely isn’t that bad. Bam! onto the next shiny thing to steal from me.
 
You see the thing about all that is that it is total bull shit!
I don’t have trust issues, that is so over dramatized, my demons lie. I would say I am cautious. I want to give everyone a chance, just like I want them so desperately to give me one.  
See something was exposed… I thought… what does a people person do when you are tricked into believing you are scared of people. You pull a 180 on the lies and do something differently.  I made it a mission to make up for everything stolen from me and I set out to meet as many new people I could and that is when I started to see my truth, not filtered through a bunch of lies of fear whispered in my head. It changed me for the better and I can’t imagine never having the people that are new and in my life that because I was willing to take a risk  they each play a role in loving me back to truth.  I encourage you if you believe you are good and have enough friends you maybe being lied to.  The greatest things about this life is the people I get to share it with.
So just an example of a lie I believed that maybe you can relate to…. I believed I had enough friends and I needed my inner cirlcle close and closed.   I am overwhelmed at the people I get to call my friends not distractions.  I can’t even imagine all the laughs, memories and all the great stories I would never had experienced. This changed me a ton when I exposed these lies. Go make a new friend, if that is too scary then go out and be friendly… talk to people. I talk to everybody… my kids tell me.
People are so lonely out there and you never know what might happen.  Maybe you are one of those that already know all this and rock it…then I encourage you to think about the other areas of your life these little bastards steal from you as they whisper in your head.
Another one of the biggest lies I believed was that I was never meant to be anyone’s mother and I believed I was like a nanny and maid who hated her job….Lies, lies, lies,  every word, Oh my freaking God… that is another story. I have tons of stories of how I caught my thoughts and my belief system kinda screwing me over. 
Thanks for your time, the most precious thing you have.
Later Sweets
 
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Posted in Demons, Devils, & Flying Ghost Monkeys

My Demons call me names!

Posted on by Stacey

My demons they call names like fat, lazy, stupid, worthless, dirty and what is wrong with you? Each of those words came in the voice of someone in my life I knew, love and trusted. It is hard to hear the question over and over by someone you love… What is wrong with you…  So my demons use that against me…Well remember when such and such said you were…blah blah blah my demons love to remind me of the pain that fuels them.  The truth is those voices that came out of those people were just the ghosts that haunted their head and if they could take it back they would. Sometimes we forget the power our demons words have disguised in our on voice!

DDFGM - #6

Posted in Demons, Devils, & Flying Ghost Monkeys

DDFGM – Declaration of Badass!

Posted on by Stacey

Hey you Flying Ghost Monkeys with your voices in my head.
The one who loves to whisper in my ear and tell me everything that I am not, and everything that I will never be. The one who then will list all the reasons why.
I am freaking talking to you! So listen up! I have heard enough out of you!

So here and now let me tell you who Stacey freaking iBold Stibbards is…..
I am a Rock Star of a Wife and Mother.
I am loving funny, encouraging, fearless, talented, forgiving, and compassionate.
I am a loyal friend who is generous and kind.
I am smart, wise and sexy.
A number for my size or age does not define me.

Funny thing is you never tell me THOSE things;  you tell me how I disappoint everyone and then you point out all of my short comings.
You love to pull the ‘remember the past’ card.
I am not crazy and I know that if you, Flying Ghost Monkeys aka (Devils, Demons, skeletons whatever you call them) are talking to me, chances are you are talking to other people around me.
My heart is FOR all people and I want to see everyone pull a 180 on your ass and break free from all the lies you tell, and I am going to tell them how amazing they are, because you don’t.
My words have power and the more I expose you and the lies you tell us, the better we all become.
So consider this my Declaration of Badass, because you are going down!

(Voice you sure are persistent I will give you that : )
I haven’t even hit “Post” and you’re already telling me….
“Don’t post that because people will judge you…
laugh at you….
hate you…..
misunderstand you.
You don’t want to open that door.
They don’t really want to hear anything you have to say anyway, so save your breath”

My Badass response:
Well let’s just see….
I am willing to take that risk ……
because I think, they just might be ….
encouraged by me….
laugh with me….
like me….
understand me…..
and maybe just rally against you with me!
After all I am just standing up to a bully!
But thanks for your ‘concern’ little voice.

What do you have to declare?
You are so much more than that voice gives you credit for.
It is time for us to stand up to that bully!

Love ya Sweets!