A random pain shows up in my leg….in 15 seconds flat my thoughts flash, Oh no it’s a blood clot or a stroke, then I say… not today Satan that is your plan being exposed and my body and soul is going to ask for and receive my healing and cast out all those thoughts? I am not lining myself up and googling you ie (smyptoms) and taking on all your demons who go by the names of symptoms. I just tell you to get out and let the body do what it wants to do….heal it’s self. Right then and there. #IJN. Make sense? Anyone? The point is that takes about 15 seconds and I move on! It takes practice not to take the bait and go down the rabbit hole and hold your leg in pain and confess how it hurts and and then it hurts more and your distracted and I remember me being in pain for days with I don’t know why that hurt so much and walking it, like a chain….then I would get so frustrated with the pain that I finally want it to go away! Then I remember I should have been telling it to go all this time then inviting it in….taking the bait as I call it from those demon devils and flying ghost monkeys! Or #ddfgm the moral of the story….get a bouncer at your door….Be mindful of what bait you may take….and just let walk in. So much more, to say about those #ddfgm, but I got to pee! Love ya Sweets! Have an amazing weekend!
When you are writing and trying to come up with a timeline of your life and you discover in your #childhood from K-4th grade you changed schools 6 times. #perspective #dontbesohardonyourself life was throwing big shit at a little kid.
65% of seniors living in nursing homes are considered Orphans…Could this be true? My thoughts #seniororphans #Nursinghomes #Senior orphanage #pulla180 #billgates this is something that could help your cause to cure #alzheimers is going after the symptoms that exacerbate the condition. #loneliness #pulla180 #findthecure #Bethecure #ddfgm #CharlieMonroe
There are Demons that come at you as lies.
Lies come at you looking to make a comfortable new home all day, every day.
You’ve gotta protect yourself (we’ll get to that next), and
you’ve gotta clear house (we’ll get to that next after next)
But first I wanted to pause a moment to talk through what some of those lies actually look like. I’ve posted artwork that fairly represents what I think is going on. . . You, all alone, with this horrible ugly thing speaking into your ear. The voice might not sound ugly: it could sound like you, or your mom, an aunty, or a teacher, or a complete stranger you overheard at the store. You hear this whisper, and you start to believe it and start to make it your own. Perhaps you start to use it to define your yourself, as others are using it to define you. You start to use it to explain and justify your limitations. “I’m not that smart, I can’t do that math.” Or “I’m not handsome enough to be attractive to that kinda gal.”
They are accusations, or even sound like a ‘statement of fact.’
Sometimes they come with absolutely nothing to back them up. . . completely out of the blue.
Sometimes they have a hint of truth, and that allows it to sting or stick.
Sometimes it’s the complete opposite of what is true, but it works to break down what you thought was solid. ‘You are such a fat cow’’ when in fact you are fit and healthy.
Sometimes it’s a suggestion to take action. . . ‘You should just kill yourself; it would be a relief for your family.’
I attached a couple of pieces of artwork to the post to make my points here. (Please read the backstory later in the post for info about the artist.) The first piece shows a girl and a demon whispering in her ear. The lies floating around her are examples of the words and attacks that are coming at her. I think the position of the demon, kinda over and to the side, is spot on. It can come along side, weigh you down, whisper in your ear.
“No one likes you”, “Loser”, “Weirdo”, “Friendless”, “Pig”, “Stupid”.
The lies can take on a lot of forms, and we’ll dig into some specific examples in the next couple of posts.
But I don’t want to focus just on the lies today. I want to call out the fact that there is a HOPE that is so much bigger than the lies. There is a way through all this, no matter where you find yourself. There is a light that sends all the darkness fleeing.
I want to introduce the second piece of art I posted. This one fairly represents the feeling of ‘lightness’ that comes when the weight of the world is lifted off your shoulders. That lightness feeds on itself; when you dissolve one lie you get more confidence in going after the next one, which makes that next success more likely, and so on. You get lighter and lighter, just like you can get darker and darker if you let the lies pile on. You are never static and constant; you are either “moving” lighter or darker with every step taken and word spoken.
This second drawing is ‘hope and positive.’ It is possible. I’ve been there, and it’s nice. Am I there all the time? No. But I know I’ll get back there soon, and I’m leaving breadcrumbs and taking notes so I can help other folks get there with me. I’ll share what I know.
I know how that return journey starts;
It’s a simple step; believe that there is hope.
Hope that the future looks better than the present.
Hope that the situation isn’t as bad as it seems right now.
Hope that YOU aren’t as bad as you seem right now.
Hope that there are love and kindness in the air around you, waiting for you to breath it in.
All it takes is being open to the possibility of there being hope.
If you have that hope as a possible bright spot, then you have enough to take the next step.
We can start to dig in to what you hear and what you believe, and we shall build a way to inspect, and reconstruct, from the foundation up.
Today – imagine the hope, and remind yourself that lies are lurking, waiting to be discovered and set right.
Behind the Scenes
My daughter came to me one day and said, “I drew this after listening to some of the stuff you guys were recording. This is the picture I saw, and then I spent a while on the internet coming up with all the words and phrases. Now I feel kinda icky. So, yeah.”
We were startled. (and happy that the stuff she wrote wasn’t her own, but rather off the Internet) and we asked her to do a follow-up image that shows the positive side of things.
I would have selected these pieces to represent my point, even if I did not know the artist. I’m not bragging when I say that. (I AM bragging when I say, ‘OMGosh, she’s an amazing artist. And have you seen her latest piece? Here, I’ve got a picture…..’)
Can’t help it. I’m a proud parent. It’s what we do.
I found a letter, I wrote myself like a time capsule it was dated May 1990. I was traveling back from a solo trip to London with a layover in Reykjavik, Iceland. I sat in on the Sugar Cubes recording a music video in the bar of the hotel, yet that didn’t even make it into the letter. Lol.
I was inspired as well by an interview I watched of the late great Carrie Fisher, where she said …. “You are only as sick as your secrets” it got me thinking. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.
My 21-year-old self knew who I was supposed to be, but I got lied to along the way. I have been kicked around by circumstances in 2016, (and 15, 14, 13, to be honest) to the point that I’ve kind of been hiding out from everyone. Hiding in secret with my shame of so much failure and the fear of what everyone will think if they knew my demons call me a loser, but I’m coming back fighting. I’m going to deal with the lies that derail me and make me sick. Head on. Gloves off. Take no prisoners and show no mercy.