“Good does not Harm and Evil does not Care”

We all have the same enemy to each of our souls. We need to get on the side of Life, Love, and Peace. We all need to stand together against the one thing set out to devour us all with …Death, Hate, and Fear.

“Good does not Harm, and Evil does not Care.”

Before things get any worse can we just have a global time out? Ponder for a moment our perspective on life and death, and which side we are on. those Demons we have invited in, (side note …did you not see cult classic ‘The Lost Boys’?  If that movie taught you anything it was you never invite a vampire in your home.) same with demons into your head. Those shady bastards lie to get us to do some pretty questionable things that we are hushed and told by those same demons why we are just in walking it out, to serve them. They only mean to manipulate us to help feed them with the fear and agony that they survive and thrive on.
Expose the lies of your demons, devils or flying ghost monkeys whatever you call them. I love this video;  just a peek into what our Truth should be.

Truth is Life….Death is the Lies that we believe.
Make up your own mind;  it will surprise you what you find out, I promise.
‪#‎Globaltimeoutfromthedemons‬ ‪#‎exposingthelies‬ ‪#‎ddfgm‬ ‪#‎pulla180‬


My Demons Wanted This To Be A Suicide Note

stacey - back


I have been fighting to survive a Supernatural storm. Actually, it’s more like a monsoon. And it’s not been a single storm, but an entire ‘strung together’ season. In fact, that season has lasted three or four years instead of just a single season. Oh, and it has gotten worse recently. I grew up with real hurricanes and thought I could get through pretty much anything. Even when dealing Supernatural situations, I always had this amazing faith in God; that the storm would calm, and the sun would come streaming through. I’d comment on the silver lining, and move on. Everything worked out in my favor.  Not this time: it was a monsoon. An entire new kind of storm, and it raged on and on, in waves. Torrential rains pound me with little or no relief. Floods almost drown me, and then recede. Only to come racing back trying to catch me unaware. I gasp for air and I wonder if this time the clouds will part and the sun will appear. The water rises, the wind picks up, and my hopes are crushed. This storm has tried to kill me, and it is still raging.

Like I said before, it hasn’t always been like this. I was God’s favorite; I knew it, and I lived it. I had this HUGE faith, and I loved sharing it. I was my best and most beautiful when I operated in my gifts, and the greatest of all of them was an unwavering faith that God simply adored and loved all of us. Period. I told everyone of this amazing love that was always FOR them. I guess you could say my heart has always been to be a “Rainbow” for everyone around me. A rainbow the way Maya Angelou describes them; an encourager and someone that lifts people up when they are down. I had a way to speak life into folks. On top of that, I knew the demons that people dealt with, having encountered my share. I knew how they operated. I knew how they lied. I knew how they strived to steal and kill. I knew how to help people over come after hearing the rumors of death that their demons whispered. I knew how to fight them, actually, and I was really good at it.

So what changed? I embarked on a huge adventure, which itself was an enormous leap of faith. (A ‘jump’ if you listen to Steve Harvey.) Actually, it wasn’t the fault of the adventure, but it was sort of related. Our adventure consisted of selling everything we had to fund a couple of years on the road, during which I would speak and write about this amazing love and faith that had sustained us. My mistake, in retrospect, was to start excluding God from the stories I was telling. I didn’t want to be branded ‘Religious’, and have my message thrown out. So I reduced, or in some cases eliminated, the role that God played in my stories. He went from being the source to having little or no role in the amazing things that I talked about. I was trying to make myself more ‘marketable’ by avoiding the ‘God issue’, or so I thought. What actually happened was pretty insidious. As I spoke about God’s role and love less in my stories, I, myself, heard about God’s love for me less and less. Just the way my brain works, I guess. I gotta hear it for it to make better sense, then it sticks. But I wasn’t speaking about it anymore, so I wasn’t hearing it anymore. I can trace the first band of this extended monsoon season back to the day I decided to pull God from my stories. The winds started up just as my faith was not getting ‘fed’ and reinforced as much or as often.

I wound up getting beat down more and more by the storm. It raged, the water rose, and it tried to kill me or kill my hope. I felt more and more impacted by it as I had less and less confidence in the faith that I once wielded like a sword as well as a shield.  Where once I was frequently a ‘rainbow’ in people’s lives, now I was hearing whispers from the demons on my shoulder; “you aren’t a rainbow. Just look at you.” Where once I felt completely favored by God, and now I was asking, “God, do you believe what these demons are whispering as well?”  I was shaken to my foundation, and then my foundation was starting to fall apart. My own thoughts turned on me as well, it seemed. I heard myself saying things to and about me that I would NEVER say about someone else. It was hateful and hurtful, but it just rolled off my tongue so easily; shame, disappointment, failure were all clearly in focus. I could talk endlessly about this stuff.  They were right; I was no longer a “rainbow” for folks.

Once I agreed with that statement, they kicked it up a notch. They told me three things; first that I had NEVER really been a “rainbow” and nobody was every really encouraged by what I had told them. Second they told me I was at death’s door, and had some horrible disease or condition. Third, they tried to convince me that my family would be better off without me, and it was kinda selfish of me NOT to die at this point.  I started to agree with what they were saying. I had become estranged from friends and family, and I felt thay had just humored me before.  I had pains and aches that were never there before. I’ve gone entire weeks with the same headache. And when I thought about my family, I saw very clearly all the people that would rush to their support if only I wasn’t in the picture. It would be tragic, but it would be for their best in the long run. I saw it all so clearly.  I saw devastation, destruction and collateral damage all around, all with my fingerprints. I saw no path forward that included me.

But I remember a time when my demons were powerless. They would suggest the worst to me, hoping I would line myself up with them by taking the bait, but they were no match for the love and faith I had in God. I was once told I have never seen a mountain, because all the mountains look like mole hills to me. Years ago, when the surgeon looked into my eyes and said, “prepare to be a single mom because this cancer will kill your husband”, I did not take the bait. Those demons were hoping to dance and celebrate, and instead we got mad; I told them to piss off, and we responded with faith like a superpower. They were no match for what powered my life, and my husband was healed and set free from that death sentence. I remember that Superpower feeling, and I remember my response.

And yet, here I was; believing I was at death’s door, ready to surrender without a fight, because I believed the lies my husband and kids would be better off without me. I turned to various vices to distract me and perhaps make everything crashing around me hurt a little less. I am so tired, I reason. Nobody would blame me. It would all work out for my family, and that was the most important thing to me. If I was gone, the storm would stop for them, friends and family would reconnect and support them. It sounded like a good deal in my waterlogged state. I needed a ‘port in the storm’ yet only found rocks. I needed to catch my breath, yet only choked on more water. I needed dry clothes and to rest, yet I was getting dragged down by the constant weight of everything. I realized my coffin would be made of cardboard because of the financial state I had inflicted on my family, and decided I deserved nothing more.

It’s been almost five years of some crazy stuff, and I am trying to remember what the old me would have done before, when I wasn’t so lost and broken.  I am trying to remind myself how I used to get through this stuff. I try to imagine what I would say to someone I saw in my situation back when I could encourage people.  And that has started to work.  I decide that I’m of more use here than dead. I declare that God doesn’t need another angel in heaven. I decide that the best thing for my family is ME and not a fond memory. I am tired of being the target. I am exhausted. But I’m also now mad at having bought in to their lies for so long. I am pissed off at what has been stolen, and I am catching my breath. I am standing back up instead of rolling over. My demons; these liars that perch on my shoulder and whisper lies in my ears, shall soon tremble in fear of me. I hear the voice telling me to fight. It is faint, but I hear it above the whipping wind and the thrashing rain. I draw power from it, and I know that soon, I’ll be ripping the heart out of this storm. I shall turn every attack that I have been subjected to against my accusers, and their camp shall be destroyed. Because I am a Fucking Rainbow. And I am a storm killer at heart. I just forgot for a little while, that’s all.

So a little note directly to my demons is in order:

You won’t get away with this. Your lies shall be exposed and your strategies turned against you. Everything you used to disable me, I shall use to be even better for the next person I see that needs a rainbow, and a boat and dry clothes and safe harbor from their storm. I will be your worst nightmare, and you can look back at when you made the mistake of picking a fight with God’s favorite. He still loves me like no other, and I still have the superpowers He gave me. You have exposed your strategies, and leave me with a better understanding of how you operate, and an empathy for folks that are still mid-storm. I shall go forth and tell everyone I can that they, too, are God’s favorite, and that things look different when you know who you are. We shall all watch amazing things happen as lies get exposed and you demons tremble while we walk in our truth. So demons, Devils, and flying Ghost Monkeys. . . Watch as I get up and pull a 180


Dealing with a New Symptom

Sometimes I forget how I’m allowed to deal with a new symptom hitting my body. Sometimes I let something ‘sneak in’ and I baby it and coddle it.
Here’s my advice; spend at least as much time telling the symptom to go away as you do researching what it might be. And do the ‘telling’ before the ‘research’.
I feel like I’m fighting for my life here, because I’ve picked a fight with the devil. So all kinds of crap has been thrown my way; most I’ve identified early as an attack and dealt with it. But not all.
Backache three weeks ago: I didn’t remember tweaking my back, but I woke up one morning like I had been hit by a truck. I just took it easy for a few days and coddled it.
Backache yesterday: 20 minutes after I told my husband that my back didn’t hurt anymore and I could move my own chair, that same back pain came back with a vengeance. THIS time, I told it that it had no right, and I didn’t have time to deal with it. I sent it packing, and it was gone in 30 seconds.
Cough: I was doing a video and was about to ask for someone to pray for me, when I started to cough like I’ve never before. While it was throwing all these diseases and outcomes my way, I got mad and called it ‘down’. I immediately stopped coughing, but then I heard, ‘you can’t ask for healing for your lungs when you’ve caused the problems yourself.’
I go through some other recent examples, but the long and short of it is that you have authority, and you have the choice of what symptoms you ‘coddle’ and which you ‘send packing’.

In a different dialect, I would say, ‘do you have faith/belief in the symptom, or in the healing?’ Your faith/belief adds reality to an idea, either positive or negative. If you believe the symptom indicates you are sick, then the probability of that being true just went up. When you tell someone you are sick because of your symptom, then the probability of that being true just went up.

Be warned though; as soon as you have victory with one symptom, they will come at you with something else. In my case, when I had put the cough ‘down’, I immediately heard that it was selfish of me to ask for healing when I had done the damage to myself.

Or they will try to get you to agree to a lesser disease. Something like getting you to say, ‘I can deal with the flu, as long as I don’t have GI issues’. Bam; you got the flu.

God would never say, ‘you made your bed, now you gotta sleep in it’. He has lived through every hurt and pain and disappointment in your life, and saw every decision you made. He knows what happened, and why you did what you did.
If you had the ability to heal your kids, wouldn’t YOU? Do you think you love your kids more than God loves His?


DDFGM - #6For those of you who wonder…..What happen to Stacey? Our freaking family JUMPED and walked away from 90% it was like a Oprah episode, but no Dr. Phil at the end of the show and all 5 of us came out better, but we had to have the courage to JUMP and we all did. Our life changed and we don’t miss a thing we walked away from. It gave a fresh perspective and new eyes to a bunch of lies we believed about stuff and how it was suppose to serve us in some way, but it didn’t even begin to serve us until we got rid of almost all of it. We are not the same because we JUMPED….Then we set out to find what we love to do…each of us, knowing we had a gift you cant label because it does not look like anything else because it is unique to each of us. This was the goal of this adventure finding our passion and God given gifts and learning to walk it out and gave up the security of a home and an income and set out on an adventure that would kick our ass everyday for the last 3 years we would live together in less than 400 square feet and roll with the sucker punches of being homeless and losing everything! Free falling and hitting every tree and rock on the way down waiting and begging for the parachute to open because…We didn’t do this to live in more defeat and desperation. On what feels like the eve of losing everything again and free falling while bleeding out. I ask if you pray….Please pray for our family. We have such a vision for good and it feels like we can almost see it…..So when you see videos of me drunk and carrying on making a fool of myself as many of you feel. It was intentional to post myself at my worst not cleaned up or polished up safe for people to see. I wanted to expose that force trying to devour me and that continues to plant seeds of hopelessness. You will never know how hard it was to lay down my pride and let the brokenness and failure show for everyone to see. I felt it would speak louder than anything because showing the free fall would benefit my truth more then the lies I am suppose to live under that keeps me from jumping and believing there is this God that would catch me. My gift is Faith… Faith for this amazing Hope in a future for everyone and something everyday tries to steal this message from inside my spirit. I have fought so hard against what would feel like most days death of everyone of my dreams… Then I think where does that leave me? I have dreams for my Husband, Kids, Family, Friends and Everyone who encounters me. Even in passing you have no idea the words my spirit speaks over that strangers life that passes me as I smile. I can feel the oppression and hear the lies in your head and sometimes even see the demons dressed in old time clothes that thinks it has a right to you because it was assigned to your parents and grandparents and so on…I know the truth, it has no right to you and I call them off and battle for you in secret. Because I know this is not just for you, but an entire family and everyone you encounter. This is my gift and something so wicked just tries to steal it away. We serve our demons with our fears and worry, some of us with our hate and rage which fuels them and makes them stronger. I am trying so hard in this free fall to keep throwing the punches at the enemy of all my dreams, but not sure how much more I can fight or free fall because now these bastards are suggesting I just surrender to the end of all this and the best thing I could hope for is the crash that just ends it all and will give me peace. They lie! There is no peace in the death of all my dreams, just more fuel for the ghosts who haunt my thoughts. I saw this video today and it inspired all of this, watch and enjoy. Thanks for reading this, we can all rally together, because we all, everyone of us share the same enemy to all of our dreams and sometimes we need to be reminded. After all of this, in my heart of hearts I believe no matter how this life appears to others that didn’t agree or understand why we Jumped, I hope this video gives you a fresh perspective. I get it, but there are 1,000’s of brilliant stories of victories during the JUMP, and my hope today fuels me for a hope of a future because this amount of faith can not be returned void! Thank you , Steve Harvey,  family and friends can you all just say a prayer and send out happy parachute opening vibes…..Maybe come up with a dance…a parachute opening dance, we need all of the good mojo we can get.
Love you Sweets!


How I Met My Frederick Friends

It’s a rainy December evening, and I’m missing what I call my ‘Frederick Friends’.

So many great people I met while we were taking a break from the RV, while it was getting repaired for the 9th time in 3 years for the some of the same issues, in the little town of Frederick Maryland.

It struck me as funny that I met a lot of them during smoke breaks, while all of us were huddled outside fighting the cold and snow.

So… Needing a hot shower at the YMCA again, because the RV was broken down AGAIN.

Thanks for standing behind your product VOLTAGE and DUTCHMAN <SARCASM>

Finding Frederick Maryland, and some awesome friends on smoke breaks.

Oh, and Dave Grohl’s name pops up. Pretty random.

Make a Difference

‘Me better’ is better for everyone around me. When I change my perspective about me, the world perceives me differently as well.
I was reminded of this truth in my life while talking with the amazing friend of mine. She is hugely talented and works so hard to be the best teacher that she can possibly be. And yet, because she is also gorgeous, people perceive her success as easily gained.

My challenge for 2016 – continue to dig for the truth in my life!

My Elevator Speech with Amy and Steve from The Travel Channel’s The Dead Files Series


What I’d say if I had Amy and Steve alone for a few minutes.

I’ve learned so much from your show. You have provided me with so much insight into what I have experienced first hand. I think your show is brilliant!

You know the signs and symptoms of these kids who are being tormented and then had to get their act together enough to get to school. That’s how I grew up.

I never knew God, but I knew there was a devil trying to kill me.
Between what you’ve seen and what I’ve lived through, I think we could have some great conversations. Perhaps we can talk through ISIS and our kids who are turning into zombies, and maybe figure out how to change the world.

BTW, there’s no way the Travel Channel pays you enough for what you are worth.